Tuesday Two Weeks

Yesterday was the first day of day camp for both Henry and Rhys, and from what I can tell they both had a very good time. Henry was pleasantly surprised and happy with how his day went especially after seeing that his friend Timothy was also attending. When I went to pick Rhys up in the afternoon he was having the time of his life socializing with his new friends, but honestly when does he not have fun? He was so exhausted that shortly after arriving home he gave up and plopped himself on the floor by my feet, softly sinking into the arms of Morpheus. Two hours later he woke up recharged but not refreshed. After dinner and a shower Kenny read a bit to them before we finally got them to sleep just short of 10pm.

So it was no surprise that getting them (especially Henry) up this morning was a major chore accompanied by a lot of involuntary eye rolling on my part. I began to feel my face flood with heat as I had to yell for them (after asking nicely 5+ times) to get up, go brush their teeth, have breakfast and get their shoes on. You'd think these were completely new concepts they'd never encountered before!

When we stepped out of the door this morning I noticed the orange haze that I'm beginning to get used to and associate with wildfires. I read today that lightning has triggered some 800 wildfires in California alone! My eyes are beginning to burn just thinking about it. On our drive home Sunday morning I looked out the window thinking that something looked different about the scenery. It took me a couple of minutes to realize that there was a fine smog like haze hanging over the usually beautiful Napa landscape. The culprit was the crazy fires lighting up much of Northern California. Sigh.

After dropping the kids off I deliberated going into the doctor's office. I got a call last Thursday as I was packing for our trip that I should drop in sometime soon so that they can do some blood work to triple check that everything was alright after my D&C. Its funny when my doctor first brought up the procedure I thought she said DNC and my first thoughts were you want to do a 'Democratic National Congress' on me? What the heck could that be? Funny things you learn only when you have to.

Anyway I decided to get it out of the way, cause that's just the kind of girl I am. Get the work done and out of the way before I can get onto the next. So I'm driving down the 405 thinking 'good it'll be done and out of the way, and then I can start tackling my new list of things to do'. It then occurred to me that it is exactly 2 weeks ago today that I had my D&C. I was lucky that the miscarriage was confirmed prior to the procedure. I was asked to go to the restroom before and just as the doctor had predicted (she gave me a time frame of about 24-48 hours from the day before) a rush of blood was expelled. I was praying for some physical sign that the pregnancy was doomed, that I wasn't just taking my doctor's word on it. Although I respect my doctor and have great faith in her experience I was greatly relieved to know for certain. I had hoped for it to happen naturally but she cautioned against it because of her fear that my body wouldn't have been able to handle it and she foresaw me rushing into the emergency room at who knows what time.

Two weeks ago today I was thinking how ironic it was that I had mentioned that post by Sheye, because about a week or so before all this happened, I awoke from a terrible dream where I had gone into the bathroom, and sat wiping blood from myself. I tried not to think about it again, but it all came flooding back to me when the doctor gave me the bad news that my levels had dropped dramatically and the baby had shifted from it's stable position and was in fact dropping. I guess that was my whisper from God preparing me for what was to come.